I've been neglecting my blog as well as others' blogs. After my last post at the beginning of May, my carpal tunnel TOOK OVER. It took over mind, body, and spirit. I can't remember what I've said of it here on my blog, but I have it in both wrists and at my worst, cannot pet my cats or wash a dish. It gets pretty bad. Needless to say, I also couldn't type or use my mouse, but that's not so much what kept me away as it was the draining of my spirit by the old depression, which is very prevalent in my life. I realized somewhere along the way that I figured everyone knew what was going on with me as I dropped out of this online society because I had updated how things were going on Facebook, but of course we are not all on FB. So - apologies to any of you who wondered where I went.
Right now I am sitting in my studio for the first time in almost 4 months. I couldn't really even visit it because of the emotional pain. To be cut off from creativity was too difficult - plus there wasn't really anything I could do in here. When I started to get better I tried a little painting but that was too much for the hands - that lasted for two days.
So, now, here I am and I can't really use my pliers yet, but had to come up here to get some stones for someone who wants to do some healing work. I'm sitting in my office chair looking out the windows at the distant hills and am feeling really happy. It's like a dear old friend has contacted me out of the blue. I'm finally meeting a bit of myself again. At the same time I'm trying not to get too excited because it doesn't take much for me to knock myself on my butt again. Twist that wrist the wrong way or bump it hard and I'm back a week or two in my progress. My emotions are so connected to my hands it is amazing. Not really surprising though, our hands are quite the magical beings and it's not much fun to be without them.
But anyway, right now, I am loving being in my studio and am hopeful that in the near future I can try to make something again -- or at least photograph and list some jewelry. I just want to have my spirit in the jewelry world!
Thanks to all my friends for their support and kind words in this sucky process of mine.
If you are wondering if I've thought about surgery - it is in my mind, but I'm not convinced that it'll do the trick. On the medical scale of CT, I am very mild. The docs tell me that you can be mild with high pain because as you have greater CT, you become more numb and thus less pain. The doc's also haven't jumped on the idea of surgery. I haven't gone back to talk to them about it in these months because I'm trying to take a more holistic approach to healing.
In any case, sorry I just disappeared!! I'm sending much love to you all and will be back and creative as soon as I can :)
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